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Jacob's Ladder

by Rich People

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  • JACOB'S LADDER CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    An aural illustration of the feelings that ruin and separate me, the places those feelings have taken me, and finally some resolution. The album cover and casing represent the bags of heroin I used to hide behind and escape reality. I'm not some proud advocate for drug use, but rather a person who's lived on the opposing side of "normalcy" and lived to talk about it. I'm an advocate for awareness instead of sheltering, and I'm working on the issues that lead to the drugs by writing about them instead of acting on them.

    I accept that some might take it all for face value and call it a bunch of songs about shooting dope and being a true piece of shit, but I won't write happy songs for happy people to indulge in how happy they already are. I will continue to write fucking miserable songs, about how ugly we can be when we can't get out of our own way, for the people like myself who just need something to relate to.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Jacob's Ladder via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
If honesty were for sale I'd be the kind of guy who spoke my mind But I watched his reign trickle down through that split level trap in West Berlin I've only come to please You'll never have the wealth you'd need to climb walls like these But you've found perfect friends In those blue pills I sold back then Trapped in my own head Hope for sleep and dream I'm dead
2.
Post Virgin 03:33
I remember seventeen at Kite House I was always the death of the party I took pride in the length of my nights And how no matter what we had they knew I'd still drive Compare myself to saints and hang my head in shame You read all those books for that strong brain I sought heart as I compared us apart And watched kite turn card I keep trying My best to disappear At least when I shot heroin I could be in my head Anywhere but here It's been such a long life In such a short time I've tried on all your gods But I still can't find mine We were old souls in young men All for selves and none for friends We are all souls Dancing human Lost between our wants and needs Living high above our means Then home alone without esteem Now everyone's full grown Now everyone's gone home Now everyone's got work tomorrow There's no more drugs and I'm alone And I remember next morning nights And all the shame and front lawn fights And I remember sitting all alone By Stella Maze on the porch of the house of kites
3.
Obscure 04:02
I kissed one of my best friends tonight Its not like that, but I was impressed To know that some day these girls grow up And stop trying so hard to seem depressed Fall out of tempo and tune With a confused sub-culture so self consumed Singin' Oh that band is just so obscure For every "fan" they push away I just love them that much more I've got money but I won't pay the door I'll divide the room with attitude And tell everyone that I'm pure And boys wear that shade of blue so unwell Your yellow words you thought up instead of just being felt And I knew that you'd all fall off When fall semester starts And you're far too young To have so many sons Oh that band is just so obscure For every "fan" they push away I just love them that much more I've got money but I won't pay the door I'll divide the room with attitude And tell everyone that I'm pure I've got so much to say Because I've spent most of my life the same (But I am just the same) Oh that band is just so obscure For every "fan" they push away I just love them that much more I've got money but I won't pay the door I'll divide the room with attitude And tell everyone that I'm pure
4.
Vacation 04:51
The grey seats between the black and the white A view of those who choose to see one side And what did you think those boys were all about Too naive to see that it wasn't just your charm that made them let you come around But don't be sad for me I'm not the one who got let down Fourth of July Second vacation night And we left alone Besides the boys from home That you packed up in your phone The busses all passed And my head ran so fast But my feet stood so still It wasn't hard to see how much you cared We can blame the blind spots that left you unaware What'd you think those boys were all about Too naive to see that it wasn't just your charm that made them let you come around The boys that you let choose the type of boys that would be good for you They never loved you like I do We let "Sorry About Tomorrow" play behind our best and worst times I "made myself sick" while you talked to other guys I almost left behind my clean spent time at carousel that summer night You always say that we're the same Our difference is you never change Fourth of July and I felt so alive and dead at the same time With you yet so alone And the busses all passed and I should have kept the focus on me You're not the only one who's not so not naive
5.
Handful 03:46
I've met a handful of "I can save her's" And perfect candidates on paper But for now I know I'm better off alone Untied from the sinking stones Even coffee girls with eyes so blue Anymore I'm just too critical To not harm someone's youth I won't put my life Up on a shelf And throw rings and kids with girls At my lack of respect for myself Compensating for my passion With a simple paycheck life I've wasted time on material shit That could could all fit back In the end of my pipe And I'll just watch you settle I'll watch my friends lie in wait For their bitter ends or empty lives And mistake kids with worn out wives And I'll just watch you settle I'll stay safely self-involved And let you talk like your life's better But I know better And I’ll just watch you settle I know what's best for me So lay awake all night quietly and let The unsettled some of us dream I've been a victim to myself all along And I'll just watch you settle And let you tell me comfort's better But I know better I don't even know Why I'm still here
6.
Filler 02:59
Standing at the show But you're not here Thanks for the invite Next time I'll find a better friend To fill my year Out of place and like the boys who took the stage I'm only here to fill some space You can't linger on too long anymore You borrowed your mystique From bands too broke to ever tour You won't make a dime that filler can't hide out We all got smart and all the fakes got found If freedom's only how I spend my time I'll just stay home and leave this corner of the world behind
7.
Dream Envy 03:19
It's five AM as I approach the bridge In envy of old friends who still sleep in They were jaded then and they're jaded now Climbing social trees as I fell out Rich kids in bad parts of town A social scene in which they now have drown It's no way to live Sitting on the fence asking myself what if I dwell on times we had before the 21 I grew up and you're all still always drunk If I never got shot out I wonder where I'd be Still cashing out to drink my self-esteem I get caught up but I know it's no way to live Another sheltered Jersey kid moves across the bridge It's no way to live Sitting on the fence asking myself what if I try to wake I try to wake Obsession overtakes my state I'm standing up but stuck in place Standing still in dreams that I should chase I'm sorry I try to bring you down when I see myself as less I know you're not so bad and I'm not quite the best I realize now that we will never be the same I was wired all wrong and just want someone to blame It'll only be just one until I need one more And back to habits I can't handle or afford And honestly I just envy the freedoms that I lost When I crossed the unseen line I can't uncross
8.
Atone 03:51
I find comfort and begin to progress Reverse when I forget That I was a victim Until I became aware Self-centered I became a volunteer Spent most of my energy Trying to people please And save the weak And what’s left of me I tried for Those I truly need But it was just Preoccupied time on The petty wants of my mind And still stood I Counting up my thoughts As the floor falls from my feet To be Perceived By self As weak It all begins ends with me I find fault and begin to regress How could such a pretty image Turn to one I resent I've fought with every corner of my mind And realize all the the pain I've felt Is just result of my pride Color saturates and the image is cleared In my personal reflection and atonement of fears I try to sustain as I collect myself And I leave the way that I'm perceived to someone else
9.
Shared Name 03:38
Change or stay the same I don't care anymore I’ve seen you grow weak And I know that you see now That I've grown bored Call me detached I've built a case against Every friend I've ever had Always wanted to be just like you Until I found myself miserable At twenty-two I was always too small in my head To be half as tough as you were When you were a kid And the first sixteen were the worst I never found a bag big enough To hold all my hurt And I'm glad I finally caught your attention I'm just sorry it took so long Now I've done some things In our shared name And it was almost too late Before I realized I was wrong Change Or stay the same You're not superman anymore It's warmer now But the chills still linger From when you weren't around I was always too small in my head To be half as tough as you were When you were a kid And the first sixteen were the worst I never found a bag big enough To hold all my hurt And I'm glad I finally caught your attention I'm just sorry it took so long Now I've done some things In our shared name And it was almost too late Before I realized I was wrong (I've pushed you down so long That the words are falling off my tongue I used to see it as you pick me up But you just call me out when I fall down)
10.
Cold Sweat 07:01
It's alright now He's less love-blind Not great but he's okay She accepts no guilt And feels no shame He figured out They're not the same Or just not on the same page He runs but she's always just a call away Where did I go And how did I get here so fast I remember the height of my highs Things that I left behind With nothing to show now Tall talks to calm me at night And I forget myself sometimes Second class in my own home Second place to the boy behind the phone It was the best night’s sleep he had in three months to the day He lost his love and still felt like he gained That day she met him and she told him What she'd done and what she wanted He forgot himself again out of pure infatuation Her will was to keep his worth Where he never gets to thinking he comes first He was the farthest thing from her mind He said it's fine it's just these games we play with pride He blames her lack of wisdom and overlooks his own He's got something deep down that begs to be alone It's alright now He's less love-blind Not great but he's okay She accepts no guilt And feels no shame He figured out They're not the same Or just not on the same page He runs but she's always just a call away Where did I go And how did I get here so fast I remember the height of my highs Things that I left behind With nothing to show now Tall talks to calm me at night And I forget myself sometimes Second class in my own home Second place to the boy behind the phone She does and says these things That just aren't right Then I start fights Instead of leaving her Like I should It did far more harm than good His head’s not right but he's so sure His head’s not right but he's so sure My head’s not right I'm so unsure I just know I can't love this anymore I've gone numb In my hands I’m scared to death This night will be my last I don't want to cause Anyone any harm But sometimes These church basements Are the only thing Between a needle And my arm And I was once so strong But now I'm just so scared What the fuck happened to me I used to be at peace I used to be able to sleep I've played the victim long enough And I've laid it on thick My self-pity's peaked high this time And I make myself sick What the fuck happened to us We were blind And were lead By a sense of touch Tight lipped Hard heart Tall pride Falls far

credits

released November 6, 2015

Engineered/Produced/Mixed and Mastered by John Naclerio @ Nada Recording New Windsor, NY

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Rich People Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Nothing Original
Just Personal Arrangements Of Things Seen And Heard
With The Intention To Provoke Thought
Not People

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